I Wonder

I find myself wondering about many things these days. Mostly about the future. I wonder what the kids will be like. Being the mommy to three kids is the most amazing job. I wonder if they really know how much I love them and want the best for them. I wonder if they will make the right decisions and if I will be ok when the do make some poor ones. I wonder if my husband knows how much I love him. He has so much stress at work I wonder if he enjoys being a surgeon at all. I would love to be a fly on the wall and be able to watch him in action. I wonder if he will ever be able to relax and enjoy things. Our kids will be grown and gone before we know it and I don't ever want him to wonder if he was a good daddy or a good husband.I think he is amazing for balancing the roles of resident surgeon, husband and father. I wonder what I will be like when the kids grow up and move away. Since becoming a mommy my world has become consumed with kids and kid things. I have no time to do something for myself. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade being a mom for ANYTHING. I just find myself wondering if I had a few hours to myself without the worry of kids and house work, what would I do. Hmmmm! I would love to become a runner again. I would love to learn to ballroom dance. I have no hobbies whatsoever. I would love to take an art class. The idea of finishing college has crossed my mind but no desire. Maybe get my EMT license again and volunteer. Maybe do volunteer work at the hospital or local women's shelter. I think it is nice to sit and ponder the future and dream about what we would like to see. The one thing that really helps me not to start to worry (sometimes wondering turns into worrying) is to believe that God is in control. He has the ultimate power in my life. He has written my future for me. Mathew 6: 25-34 really speak to me in my time of wonder.Vs 33-34 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." Hmmm. I wonder....